current thoughts
from a cafe in mexico
The last few weeks have been wildly experience-driven. I spent a week in Cancun at a high-end resort funded by my company with a focus on collaboration, product updates, and celebrations. After, I enjoyed a week in Mexico City surrounded by close friends, exploring and eating through the city. I have one week in Mexico to look a bit more inward after two social weeks of outward attention to others and the city. I’ll write more about Mexico specifically in another post.
This post stems from that feeling after love-filled busy weeks where you reset. Maybe you sleep in like us and enjoy a slow, quiet morning in a cafe, enjoying the sound of your own thoughts. And maybe you walk around a new part of a city on your own to take in the connection between you and the nature around, which is abundant in Mexico City. Maybe the recalibration makes you a bit sad, recognizing the transition may be a bit difficult even though you have enjoyed time with friends and knew you would also enjoy time just the two of you, or even on your own.
I am currently at my second cafe of the day in Polanco, a different part of the city than I’ve previously explored. There’s a rooibos tea resting on the round pink table on my right and a Spanglish conversation between three people around my age that I’m eavesdropping purely out of curiosity on my left. Plants encapsulate the cafe and I’m on my own for what feels like the first time in two weeks. I’ve had moments to myself, sure, but today, I can really hear myself think.
The vibrant streets in Polanco opened my creative neurological brainwaves. Below, I’ve written edgeless thoughts. Keep in mind these notes are not necessarily intertwined, but rather droplets of ideas that I’ve let pour out:
I’m not old, whatever old means. I am starting to notice some changes that feel new and uncomfortable. I’m usually open to trying different experiences with arms wide; however, the recalibration from friend-filled weeks to more time to self makes me think about my body. After traveling for now about 5 months, I’ve noticed my metabolism slowing very gradually but enough that I have decided to be more mindful of not only what but how much I am putting into my body. With friends, it’s fun to choose experience over long-term goals (I actually believe it’s important to let yourself indulge sometimes and live life in moderation), and at some point, it’s also important to listen to yourself and what your body needs. My brain shared that something felt a bit off and my stomach agreed. A moment of true silence reminded me of what I need to do today and tomorrow - eat healthy, eat less, and exercise consistently. These are part of my 2024 goals (stay consistent) and as I get older, I have learned that consistency does not mean doing something X amount of times necessarily - it means that we’re human, life happens, and that we get back on the horse every time. That’s consistency to me. And as my body ages, there will be changes I will notice. Living in moderation, I will practice finding the balance between ambition and acceptance. Drive for what’s best for my body and mind and acceptance that life changes.
Along similar lines, I have noticed change to my womanhood. PMS has never been easy for me, like many women. As I reach 30, I have noticed aspects of PMS have become worse - sometimes up to two weeks of hormonal fluctuations. I’ve been told by the gynecologist that this can be typical. Conversations with girlfriends have started shifting in general to be more open about PMS, the choice of wanting kids and how to navigate this, various women-related difficulties with their bodies, what birth control friends are on, the effects, and what happens when people get off of birth control. Conversations range from people describing they’re much happier after getting off birth control to feeling they need to have a baby every day of the month to learning about their endometriosis diagnosis. Every woman is different. Some do not feel PMS symptoms at all, some haven’t had their period in 7 years and are using IVF to attempt their pregnancy process, and others are wondering how their lives will change if they decide to have children.
A question I’ve started pondering more is how can I be kind to myself in relation to where my mind and body are at any period of the month?
On a slightly different wavelength, I am recognizing my growth in a phrase people close to me have used for awhile now, “It works for me,” “It works for us,” or “It works for my family.” This very short sentence includes the word, “it” which represents truly any opinion or difference in action. You do not need to further explain to someone why your idea is different than theirs. And you do not need to do something just to make someone else happy (or projecting of what you think would make someone else happy). Make sure you’re deciding what works for you. I’m using this phrase more and more these days and I’ve been proud of myself for doing so. It shows my confidence is building and I don’t need to do something just because it has worked for someone else. Our choices are our choices and they don’t need to make sense to others.
Traveling looks different to everyone. I love how my husband and I are approaching our nomad-life five months in. We are leaning into fast and slow travel, where some days or weeks move more quickly and we explore all day, taking in adventure from every direction. Other days are slower and may look like spending the day in our current neighborhood or at a cafe like where I am today. This balance is sustainable for us and allows us to feel fulfilled through travel and through rest.
Sometimes, I need someone else to explain to me the big picture. I do enjoy getting swept up in a moment, though it is not always the most logical response to a situation. My feelings are important to me - they allow me to be ultra creative and recognize what is important to me. Feelings are also fluid. They can shape-shift right under my nose. At times, I can see myself from an outward perspective and other times, someone recognizes a pattern in my actions that I didn’t realize. A recent example was on a phone call with my therapist. After explaining my deepest vulnerabilities, she pointed out that there’s probably underlying stress related to choosing where to live and the MRI I have next week. She reminded me to let things happen organically. I mean, this makes sense! Nomad life is fantastic and we do not plan to nomad forever. Soon, we will make a decision and lean in 100%, excited to begin a next chapter. With excitement, change, and newness, fear and stress can also exist - that’s being human. And my hip issue is improving, yet persists. Many people will experience a health scare in their lives that changes their identity. Not everyone experiences this under 30 years old. This ongoing experience is tough and has taught me many valuable lessons along with more empathy toward others. I’ve heard recently that my getting through depression related to this injury has been an inspiration to several friends. This doesn’t make it easier but I am glad to help others feel less alone.
My husband and I have consciously been using “Yes, and…” in our conversations ever since we took an improv class many months ago. If you have ever fallen into a “No, but…” response chokehold, try this! This phrase has helped open up doors to new perspectives and storylines I would’ve never experienced had it not had been for these two little yet impactful words.
Throughout our travels, we have taken so many pictures. We are figuring out what to do with them. We used Artifact Uprising to design Everyday Books with high-quality pictures of our engagement and wedding (not sponsored). I’ll definitely create some books for our future home’s bookshelves. We also are very slowly working on a website that houses top pictures of each place we have traveled to since marriage to carry on for when we have kids and to share stories through pictures.
A cumulating thought that connects to several notes above is the idea of finding balance between hard work, passion, and rest. I touch upon this when I discussed the feeling of getting swept up in things. This also relates to the other two weeks of the PMS cycle where women may feel the most alive. This idea connects to fast and slow living, being mindful of outward and inward connection. I bring this point up because I am working extra hard at my full time job right now, diving into a new role with greater responsibilities. I am also traveling with my husband, living nomadically and enjoying the outdoors as much as possible. I’m reading, connecting with friends and family, stretching, and being creative. Recently, my creative ideas have been flowing when I relax where I close my eyes and picture different aspects of my small business visually for fun - the packaging from start to finish, what the website may look like, or how to complete a final wireframe for a UX course I’ve been taking.
Now, I am starting to work on designing a family friend’s wedding suite which includes a color palette, invitations, signage, etc. This friend asked because they loved how I designed my husband’s and my wedding invitations. I got swept up, excited to share my creativity for someone’s special day. I can do this. In the beginning of projects, I typically get very excited and jump in one hundred percent. I want to make sure that I give myself time and rest so I can listen to my body and mind throughout a month and make deadlines. I have learned to give myself more time than I need because of fluctuations that may impact my drive. This allows me to value high-energy hyper-focus days and slower days where I may actually stop and smell a flower overhanging a sidewalk.
All that to say - writing helps me notice what works for me and what I need to be successful. Yes, and what works for me may or may not work for someone else. I know I don’t need to explain it…but I did anyway :)
Now, let’s give ourselves grace for being human. What do you say?
So human.